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Random thoughts on a sleepless night

I honestly don’t know why I’m awake right now. I fell asleep and for some odd reason woke up an hour later. I can’t seem to get back to sleep now.

Side note:

I hate insomnia.

But since I can’t seem to get back to sleep I figured I might list some random thoughts to kill some time.

thinking-cap

1

Q:  Why am I awake right now?

A: Because insomnia sucks.

2

Q: Why is it that every man I meet claims that I’m the woman of his dreams, yet I’m still single?

A: Because they can’t take my awesomeness.

3

Q: Why is it that 1+1 =2, yet E=MC2? Isn’t math about numbers?

A: Because I’ve always hated algebra.

4

Q: Why is it that I seem to eat more candy on Halloween than my kids do?

A: Because I’ve convinced myself that I’m doing it to protect them from food poisoning and potential food tampering, but in all actuality I just have a monster sweet tooth.

5

Q: Why do people confuse my kindness as my weakness knowing that while I am kindhearted I will She-Hulk out and shove their tongues up their asses?

A: Because they love to live dangerously.

6

Q: Why don’t egg noodles look anything like eggs?

A: Because, come to think of it, they don’t look anything like noodles either.

7

Q: If I were to count sheep in order to help myself get to sleep, would it be considered politically incorrect? I mean it technically is a form of segregation, when you really think about it.

A: Maybe I’ll count egg noodles instead.

8

Q: Why are my best friend and I so much alike?

A: Because that amount of awesomeness needs to stick together.

9

Q: If I were to stop asking random questions to myself, would it help me get to sleep?

A: Why would I even consider not talking to myself?! Sometimes I really need expert advise.

10

Q: Would I ever be truly happy if I were given a movie contract for one of my books?

A: Probably not, because I’d ring somebody’s neck if they got it wrong.

11

Q: Why is bacon so yummy?

A: The King of Meat needs not explain himself!

12

Q: If Bruce Lee were still alive, would all of those Chuck Norris jokes be about him instead?

A: Unknown! 😮

13

Q: Why are Doritos and Mountain Dew always equated with gaming?

A: Because they are freaking DELICIOUS!

 

Suddenly my eyes are beginning to weigh heavy again. I guess this aimless banter was useful after all.

Nighty night folks!

448799-chuck_norris

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