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Need for FREEDOM~~9/6/14 Journal Entry

Maybe it’s just me…

Aquarius

I’m an Aquarius. I crave freedom. Freedom in all aspects of life—from the general and mundane, to the more creative. I need it, I thrive on it.

Freedom is the air that I breathe and the song that I sing. Simply put, I need liberty.

freedom

Yet, in my life in particular, it’s incredibly hard to obtain. As the matter of fact, it’s almost impossible.

I want to scream. “AAAH!” I scream in my head. “SOMEONE, ANYONE, LET ME OUT!

I want… need… out of this situation. I wanna run! I wanna run! Be set free! Intake pure air in my lungs! Get away… go away.

Trapped. Claustrophobic. Ambushed by life. Captured by poverty. Cornered by the need to be free. Yet, with no ability to do so. The four walls that surround me, make me want to cry. The unchanging scene that is my life, made by the situation, unattainable freedom. I crave the independence to do what I want, when I want

running

It’s funny because it seems as though my creative nature becomes stumped when I feel secluded or bound down. I wilt like a flower in the desert. But it’s not just my creativity, it’s everything about me. I become grumpy and antsy. I get depressed and fussy. My attitude becomes dark and ominous.

Not many people understand that. Truth be told, the ones who understand it the least is my own family. They are the type of people that like routine. They do well with the “same old thing” and if you pull them from that, they become confused and irritated.

Why am I so different from them?

I don’t know.

question

My biggest dream is to live a life of freedom. By that, I mean without any restraints. I want to live on the open road, enjoying the never ending expanse of the pavement. Feeling the wind as it glides through my hair, and basking in the fresh scent of the air while it gently glides through my nostrils.

I plan on making that dream come true some day. I just need to wait a few more years; until my little boy is finished with his schooling. At that point I will buy myself an RV and I will live EVERYWHERE and NOWHERE. It will be a glorious thing!

I will not need to report to anyone. I will not bound by the routine and the banal. I will feel freedom, breathe the open air and fly like a bird.

THEN AND ONLY THEN, WILL I BE FREE TO BE ME!

11I wonder…

How many of you can relate?

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